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a cg of 17 & 18 year old youths from WEFC Youth POD!

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Thursday, May 26, 2011 @ 7:28 PM

Sarah's first post AND ITS SERIOUS BUSINESS haha

Hello Everyone.
Took a looooong time to figure if I should post what I wanna post but here I am. ( still uncertain whether to push the publish post later )
& It's pretty serious considering I POSTED IN THIS BLOG for the very first time.

SO READ. CAREFULLY. K.
I know it's long and I think I blabbered quite abit BUT READ IT >:

Anyway, the past month plus has been quite a rough time emotionally for me, for some certain reasons which I MIGHT share soon. & it really has made me lose faith ( majorly ). That's a huge part of why I've been MIA for a few weeks but looks like no one really asked ( I am quite happy I don't have to reply with white lies but on the contrary, I think someone should have been concerned enough to ask but I guess it's cause I havent been very regular anyway. )

SOOOOOO.......
Anyway, I finally went back to CG last Saturday ( Just for a record, the people who turned up were me, esther, joel, ezra and... oh nobody else, but I think we had a good time. )
Frankly, honestly, I turned up only because I promised Keith that I would go with him, ( but he had something on last min so I couldnt not go LOL ) and partly, the dog which bit me a few times... HAHA, and I had no choice cause I promised to go. So, ya... I WASn't very willing. :/ sorry guys but no more hiding the truth cause it's pointless.

Anyway, point is..

Esther said ( in a rather kiddingly way with a hint of seriousness ) that I should do the next bible study. But obviously I said noooo. HAHA.

My response to that is :

No, it's not because I'm lazy. ( maybe part of it ) BUTTTT...

For my first bible study, I will want to share what has happened to me, what made me lose so much of my faith these time round, what I am struggling with now, what affected my life so much and what made me into such an angry person. ( You guys might not see it but ya.. ) What made me take such a skeptical view on life and how I might be going to change all of that if I am able to with God's help. I say Might, because I really don't know if I can do it... I think it could be a fairly long shot.

But God gave me my first hint last week when I went back to CG.
Ironically he showed me he knew what's going on with me through literal words in the bible ( I'd say its a mix of coincidence ( skeptical view ) and also that he's trying to speak and grab hold of me before I slide away ( christian view ))
I was (pardon me,) Freaking amazed. So Esther, if you saw me so interested in reading the bible last week after telling me a passage to read, sorry to say, I was reading another page that was accidentally turned to. HAHAHAHA. But thank you so much for sharing the passage or else I would not have seen it!

SO TO END OFF,

I. WANT. TO. SHARE. WITH. YOU. GUYS. and it was a very very very difficult decision to make and I'm still wondering if I should but...

IF I WERE EVER TO LEAD A BIBLE STUDY. I WANT TO SEE ALMOST EVERYONE THERE TO LISTEN TO ME CAUSE I WILL NOT REPEAT WHAT I SAY EVER BECAUSE IT IS NOT A VERY EASY STORY TO TELL.

I WANT ALL THE MAIN REGULARS OF THE CG TO BE THERE. and i wonder if that's possible. So if it ever happens, please give me time to talk hehehehe.

Last of all, I don't know what you guys will feel after seeing this. But if it's concern or worry for ME, don't worry. BECAUSE IM FINE. Really -_- Dont come ask me what happen or give me verses that will not help me because it won't unless you guys listen to me!

... -_- I wonder if this will fall on blind eyes HAHAHA. Or empty brains.
Anw, make an effort to come together on one session at least because I might lose my motivation to speak soon HAHAHA >: & I might forget what I want to say. :/

Okay THATS IT.
SORRY TO MAKE YOU GUYS READ THROUGH THIS. ANY QUESTIONS ASK ME BUT DONT ASK ME WHAT HAPPENED K.

Yayyyy okay. Now I'm gonna sms all you guys to read this crap.

Love,
the sarah you don't know very well.

Sarah wrote.